That Dang Purple Crayon
Let’s release you from being “the problem”
The central tenet of Narrative Therapy is simple but revolutionary: The person is not the problem. The problem is the problem. When you are struggling with anxiety or depression, it is easy to start believing that these feelings are a part of your identity. You might say, "I am an anxious person," or "I am a failure", looping negative experiences and struggles in with your identity. Narrative Therapy helps you externalize these issues so you can see them as separate from who you truly are.
Imagine your life as a book. For a long time, anxiety might have been the lead author. It has written chapters about why you should stay home, why people might be judging you, and why you aren't "enough." But you are the one holding the pen. My role as your therapist is to help you gather these stories and determine which align with who you are and who you want to be. What pieces of the story are accurate and which are heavily colored by things like anxiety or a negative self-concept.
Externalizing the Narrative
When we externalize anxiety, for example, we give it a name and a set of characteristics. We ask: "When does Anxiety show up? What does its voice sound like? What does it want for your life?" By treating it as an outside force, we can create a cognitive and emotional separation which lets us begin to start considering "Unique Outcomes." These are the moments in your life where you stood your ground against the problem storyline.
Maybe there was a time last week when Anxiety told you to stay quiet in a meeting, but you spoke up anyway. Even if it felt small, that was a moment where you were the author, not the anxiety. Narrative Therapy focuses on these "sparkling moments" to build a new, preferred story of your life, encouraging empowerment and “holding the pen” that writes your life story.
Deconstructing the "Shoulds"
Many of the stories we carry are not even ours. They are "dominant discourses" from society, family, or past experiences. They are the "shoulds" that weigh us down. "I should be further along in my career," or "I should be a perfect parent." These stories often serve to keep us small and compliant.
In our work together at Break Free Therapy, we deconstruct these narratives. We look at where they came from and whether they serve your current goals. When you realize that a story was given to you by someone else, you gain the freedom to put it down. This is especially important for those who have experienced overwhelm, self-criticism, people pleasing and so on in their personal histories.
Becoming the Author of Your Future
The beauty of Narrative Therapy is that it honors your agency. You are the expert on your own life. We are not "fixing" you because you are not broken. We are simply editing the narrative to reflect your strengths, your values, and your hopes.
If you feel stuck in a story that no longer fits, anxiety therapy can help you find your voice again. It is time to write a chapter where you are the hero of your own journey. From Gig Harbor, to Tacoma proper to Medina and back, your story is your own and its our belief that you deserve to be the one writing it.
